The Secret, Pitty Parties, and Do’s and Don’ts of Social Networking

As most of you have probably read by now, or at least seen on the sidebar of my blog, I’m currently reading the book, “The Secret.” It really is an amazing book about the most simple of concepts. It’s about the laws of attraction. It relates people to radio towers. You’re always emitting a frequency. The laws of attraction are quite simple. Like attracts like. You are attracting similar frequencies to what you are emitting. It’s really a simple, but profound concept. I started reading it about a month ago after practically being force-fed the book by my dad.

Before I go any further, I want to give all of my readers a swift punch to the face of motivation. haha! YOU are in charge of your destiny. Quit making excuses, don’t complain about things because it’s likely that YOU haven’t tried hard enough. Maybe you think you’ve tried hard enough, but as long as the excuses keep flowing, you’ll never get where you want to be. I’m not just talking professionally because Lord knows I haven’t gotten there and things take time to cultivate, but I’m talking about in daily life. What are YOU doing today to get you where you want to be?

You see, most of my life I’ve been a relatively negative person; always complaining, always preparing for the worst but hoping for the best, always looking for the downside, etc. I haven’t finished the book yet, but even after reading the first chapter a few weeks ago, I decided it was time to not only change my attitude, but change the way I think. If I think negativity, I will attract negativity. If I think positivity, I will attract positivity. I’ve gone through and am continuing to go through quite the amazing transformation in my mind. Since thinking positively has started to become more natural for me, I’ve noticed a TON of people around me who are always negative, always complaining, always “woe is me” and talking about how their lives suck, etc. I really had attracted what I was. I’m hoping my positive energy can change people around me but I’ve noticed it’s even changing my husband quite a bit.

All this to say I want to talk about social networking. Well, really, I just want to talk about Facebook. I think people have decided that it is best to air their dirty laundry and woe’s on Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need to find people who can relate to your struggles, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the type of status messages that literally wreak of “someone pay attention to me because no one is paying attention to me.” We are ALL guilty of it. You know those status messages where someone freaks out and says something like, “I’m not getting on Facebook anymore because no one responds to me.” Or “I’m offended that NO ones cares enough to respond to my status messages.” Or even better, those other messages that say something to try to attract questions so someone will listen to them. Those usually come in the form of, “Ugh…” or “I can’t stop crying.” Then their friends jump to say, “What’s wrong?” It’s not just limited to that though. How about those other messages¬†that talk directly about a person to their face without mentioning their name so as to get away with cyber bullying (come on people, you know EXACTLY who you are). Or those other ones that are somewhat on the self righteous side that say something like, “So and so is attacking me but I’m not going to play along because that’s not what God would want.” Or even the ones where you air your dirty laundry about your boyfriend or girlfriend and then delete them after you make up. Why have people decided to use social networking (Facebook) as some sort of therapy? Again, we are all guilty of it.

If I’m being honest, there are a ton of people I’d just love to delete off of my friends list because I’m tired of reading their complaints about how their life sucks and about the world. Seriously, one Facebook friend I realized was complaining so much that I went to their Facebook page and counted, of the past 20 status messages, 18 of them were some sort of complaint about how their life sucks or about something bad or “woe is me.”. I really just can’t stand it, but why do I feel obligated to keep them as Facebook friends? The strangest thing about it is that I used to be one of those people! I went back and read the last 20 of my status messages and was surprised to find that they were all happy, positive status updates.

It was then that I realized it was time to take a serious look at how, as a professional, I use social networking. I’ve always been blown away at how some professionals (photographers included) that I am friends with on Facebook and fans of on their Facebook fan page, will just outwardly say the worst things. They’ll even use cuss words on their business page! Now, I don’t care if you use cuss words on a normal basis, it has nothing to do with whether you have the mouth of a sailor or not, it has everything to do with the fact that professionally, you shouldn’t use curse words to show ALL of your clients. I mean, seriously, if you called AT&T’s customer service line and got a professional that answered the phone and said something like, “I’m f^&*n angry about this s#$%^& thing” to you about their computer or something, wouldn’t your idea of AT&T’s level of professionalism diminish? Or what if you walked to a doctor’s office and were signing in and heard one of the nurses say to the other nurse that was checking you in, “That b%^&* is next to come back” wouldn’t you start thinking they weren’t very professional? What we do reflects on our business AND in this day and age where our personal lives are on social media, our personal lives are just as public as our business lives. So shouldn’t we try to keep it personable but on a professional level?

If you don’t get anything else from this, I’ve typed out below some do’s and don’ts of social media.

  1. DO put your personality out there, but keep it positive and make yourself approachable.
  2. DON’T air your dirty laundry. There’s nothing worse that putting your dirty undies in everyone’s social media face.
  3. DO keep your friend list to ONLY people you know.
  4. DON’T include someone you knew and haven’t seen in years.
  5. DON’T cyber bully.
  6. DON’T curse on your professional page. Try not to curse on your personal page IF you have a professional page too. If you just have a personal page, then I don’t care either way.
  7. DON’T post about how your life sucks. Quit being a drag!
  8. DO invest in others that you care about on social media.
  9. DO post your successes AND failures, but again, don’t be a drag!
  10. DON’T post messages that try to pull people into your pitty party. It’s a desperate cry for attention that comes across as desperation. Instead find a way to find JOY in your situation.
  11. DON’T freak out on people and tell people you won’t be on anymore because no one pays attention to you. Really. The people who truly care most for you will be involved in your life in some other way than social media.
  12. Lastly, this doesn’t pertain to social media, but read The Secret. All of the negative energy going around is making the place wreak of self pitty and believe me, it doesn’t smell good.